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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24335581">Zuzu Falls In Love Gets Swords And Kicks Ass (Not Necessarily In This Order)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/oliczek23/pseuds/oliczek23'>oliczek23</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>SAO but BNHA but it makes sense [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sword Art Online (Anime &amp; Manga), 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>ALSO TAKE A NOTICE THAT I .CHOSE. TO NOT USE ARCHIVE WARNINGS, Anything goes - Freeform, BAMF Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, BAMF Midoriya Izuku, BAMF Shinsou Hitoshi, Fix-It of Sorts, Gaming, Hacking, I kinda hate SAO but I also love it to an extent, Inspired by Fanfiction, M/M, Minor Character Death, Minor Original Character(s), Swords, Swordsman Aizawa Shouta, Swordsman Midoriya Izuku, Swordsman Shinsou Hitoshi, They mean NOTHING</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 06:47:19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,581</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24335581</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/oliczek23/pseuds/oliczek23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p><s>Izuku</s>Zuzu always wanted some kind of reprieve from his miserable life. He found it in NerveGear based games, specifically in Sword Art Online. As a beta tester he climbed the ranks, no longer a useless doll for <s>Kacchan</s> to play with.</p><p>The day of official release was supposed to be fun.<br/>Not a nightmare.</p><p>(Aka SAO but I put a personal spin on it 'cause I call bullshit on that series.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead &amp; Midoriya Izuku, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead &amp; Midoriya Izuku &amp; Shinsou Hitoshi, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead &amp; Shinsou Hitoshi, Kaminari Denki &amp; Midoriya Izuku, Midoriya Izuku &amp; Shinsou Hitoshi, Midoriya Izuku/Shinsou Hitoshi, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Other Relationship Tags to Be Added</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>SAO but BNHA but it makes sense [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1756903</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>96</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>266</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. World of Swords</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">


        <li>
            Inspired by

            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/21189782">Blurred lines</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/kira18/pseuds/kira18">kira18</a>.
        </li>

    </ul><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter beta-ed by <a href="/users/Boston_Cream/">Boston_Cream</a>.<br/></p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>1st Floor <b>·</b> Starting Town</p>
</div>The streets of first floor were buzzing with life as <s>Izuku</s><i>—Zuzu now, it's Zuzu. no more Deku</i>—ran past the various stalls selling equipment and food (of course just in-game food, what a shame  NerveGear couldn't just feed him). Technically he was here before as a beta tester but with only 1000 players the game seemed quieter and gray, now though? It was <i>vibrant.</i><p>He ducked under an arm of some player gesticulating vividly, probably trying to bargain a sale. Good luck talking to AI, though if he did that for long enough he would finally gain charisma points and—</p><p>"Hey, you there!" someone screamed loud enough to startle him. Fortunately he didn't trip and continued to run, this time turning left to go in alley, it was deserted. Much quieter, but still the chatter of merchants and buyers could reach him so it didn't feel sinister. "Hey! You broccoli head, wait!" Broccoli head? Wait…</p><p>"Me?" Zuzu faltered in his steps until he stopped and turned around, some blond guy was sprinting after him, breathing heavily.</p><p>"Yes you! Oh wait, I didn't mean to insult you, it's just your hair really looks like that, dude, nice styling!" the person finally come closer and bowed down, trying to catch his breath. Their breath? To be honest it was never sure with who you were talking to in VRMMORPGs, you could style your avatar however you wanted and when he looked closely <s>Izuku</s> noticed the more feminine features that could be implemented with non-binary character model. It was a cool option, sometimes. Some people used it to pretend to be 14 yo girls while being 70 yo dudes and then claim that they weren't because it wasn't a female model. But then again, it was common knowledge, so catfishes had almost no power there.</p><p><s>Izuku</s>Zuzu's inner tangent ended perfectly when the player finally caught his breath. Lucky, he would have missed it otherwise. </p><p>"Well, I better explain why I was chasing you! I'm looking for someone who could teach me basics and that duck you did a minute ago was pretty fluid! This arguing giant has been at it for a few minutes and he slapped at least 4 people by accident, you were the first one who managed to duck in time! So, naturally, I thought <i>'hey, if anyone here knows how to move it will be this guy'</i>. Would you help me!?"</p><p><s>I</s>Zuzu blinked slowly. Huh. It was that noticeable?<br/>
True,  NerveGear takes a little bit of time to get a hang of, but if this player could run after him and not end up running into a wall then he should be mostly fine…</p><p>"I have no idea how I could help you but if <i>you</i> have one, then sure!" Apparently Zuzu's answer was satisfactory because the person brightened noticeably.</p><p>"Man, <i>thank you so much!"</i> they said dramatically, before swinging at him with an arm. His first instinct was to freeze, not duck, and thank god because the player just patted his shoulder excitedly. Zuzu forced his heart to calm down, that wouldn't be ideal first impression… "I just started this game, mind showing me the basics?"</p><p>"Uh, um…" he tried to force the 'yes' out of his mouth but the adrenaline was still cursing through his bloodstream and this wasn't ideal. The player jumped away from him and bowed deeply with their palms pressed tightly against each other, just like their closed eyelids.</p><p>"I'm begging you!" man, they were pretty serious about that, huh? The stranger straightened pretty fast and pointed at themself with a cheeky grin, "The name's Chargebolt. Nice to meet'cha!" Oh well, not anymore stranger.</p><p>"I'm Zuzu," he replied in kind. "Nice to meet you as well!"</p><p>"Zuzu? That's <i>cutesy!"</i> Chargebolt said immediately with a mischievous smile on their face.</p><p>"Wha—<i>No!"</i></p>
<hr/>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>1st Floor <b>·</b> Starting Town <b>·</b> West Field</p>
</div>The boar charged and hit the mark perfectly, making Chargebolt fall to the ground. Okay, maybe, <i>just maybe</i> learning through doing wasn't their best front. Or maybe the instruction Zuzu gave them was too long and complicated. Oh well.<p>"My balls!" they screamed. So probably assigned male at birth. Information catalogued for future use.</p><p>"You're making it look worse than it actually is." Zuzu had a feeling Chargebolt was a drama queen. "You can't actually feel the pain." That seemed to startle them.</p><p>"Oh, yeah," they rose from the ground. "I just did that out of reflex. Man, I must look so stupid to you…" they rubbed their neck, clearly ashamed.</p><p>"Phantom pain happens sometimes too, it's normal with  NerveGear, don't sweat it," he waved a hand to emphasize his point. He <i>really</i> didn't want to make this nice person feel bad!</p><p>"Really? You seem to know a lot about that thing!" Chargebolt smiled and poked his head, as if to touch the helmet. "You must be like, super intelligent dude!"</p><p>"Ah, you really think so? I just read up about this subject because it's so interesting! Like, did you know that  NerveGear uses microwaves? With high enough dosage it could fry your brain, but since it passed various tests I think they created some sort of prevention system for that!" Aaaaaaaand he <i>rambled.</i> Great. Now Chargebolt would realize how lame he is and leave him and—</p><p>"Woah, you can talk fast. And, <i>really?</i> Man, that's scary." Their face didn't show annoyance or anything like that. Zuzu wanted to cry from happiness. But instead he went back to explaining the mechanics.</p><p>"Haha yeah, but let's get back to training, shall we? Like I said, the key is your first action." He spared a glance towards Chargebolt's healthbar. Those boars really weren't worth anything, the damage was so small…</p><p>"I know," they whined gesturing with a knife towards the enemy, "but it won't stay put!" The boar dignified them with a shake of it's rump.</p><p>Zuzu allowed himself to think for a moment. Maybe demonstration would work better than explaining it with words? He looked around until he found a decent sized pebble and took it. He didn't want to use the sword and show the skill with it because he had a peculiar way of activation that didn't suit most of players. The rock trick would do with teaching basics.</p><p>"If you get your first action right and activate a swords skill…" he tossed the pebble and caught it, preparing, took the right position… and then threw it at the boar, the projectile instantly powered up by game. It left a nasty but quickly fading red mark on its rear and did a decent job of angering it. Uh-oh. "The system will correct your aim and ensure a hit." Actually there was a miss chance, but it was only 5%. "How should I put it…" He took out his sword and skirted around the charging boar, before it could connect. It immediately circled back so he countered a hit with the shaft. This boar was Chargebolt's kill. A sudden bout of inspiration let him find the words he was looking for when he started explaining the concept. "Just pause for a second and once the skill activates just let it rip."</p><p>"Let it rip?" for a hot second Zuzu was scared that they still didn't get it but then their eyes focused on the target in full seriousness and they put their falchion behind their head.<br/>
Zuzu kicked the boar their way and waited. With a cry Chargebolt charged (oh, <i>oh</i> there's <i>pun potential there)</i> and soon enough the boar was dead, giving them 24 exp, 30 col and 2 items. Nice. Good enough for the first kill.</p><p>Chargebolt turned around, dazed, and smiling brightly, and cheered, excitement practically radiating in waves from them.</p><p>"Congrats," Zuzu smiled, a proud feeling blooming in his chest. He kinda wanted to go for a high-five but what if they didn't want to? What if—</p><p>"Aw man, thank you!" they raised their hand. Well, high-five it is.</p><p>"Well, that was a low-level fodder, are you ready for something more advanced?"</p><p>"Wha—!? You kidding me?" their face fell abruptly. Did he, did he say something wrong? "I thought it was some sort of mini-boss…" they whined, overreacting. Ah.</p><p>"Nah, that was like… slime level of threat. You really thought that was a mini-boss?"</p><p>"Boo-hoo this is <i>bullying.</i> I'm being <i>bullied."</i> they whined, fiddling with their falchion, activating the skill a few times.</p><p>"Easy to get the hand of, right?"</p><p>"Yeah… but you can't tell anyone about this," they said deadly serious. "Jirō and Sero won't let me live if they get to know."</p><p>That made Zuzu chuckle. Wow, he made a friend. </p><p>"Hey, Mr Knowledge, there is a ton of other skills, like blacksmithing and stuff, right?" <i>Mr Knowledge?</i></p><p>"Well, supposedly there's an unlimited number of them," he recalled, from what he read in player's handbook. "No quirks or even magic though."</p><p>"I understand no quirks, it would be helluva hard to replicate some of those in game, but an RPG without magic skills? They're normally given!"</p><p>"Isn't it more fun to use your own body to fight?" For <s>Izuku</s> Zuzu it was freeing, no quirks, no anything, just reaction time and gaming skills. He could <i>succeed.</i> He wasn't <i>useless.</i> Hell, he was good at those games!</p><p>"Sure it is! Gosh, I'm thrilled!"</p><p>"Great, let's try another area then!"</p><p>"Yeah, I'm more than ready!" Chargebolt was on their feet before Zuzu could blink. "Race ya!" they took off running.</p><p>"Wait! You don't know where to go!" Zuzu followed laughing.</p>
<hr/>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>1st Floor <b>·</b> Starting Town <b>·</b> Northern Waterfalls</p>
</div>"This place never ceases to amaze me…" blondie whispered looking wistfully at the sky where dragon-like creatures were drifting in loose formation. "I still can't believe it's all just a game…"<p>"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Zuzu couldn't agree more.</p><p>"The guy who made it is a genius. Puts me at a loss for words…"</p><p>For a minute they sat in silence, just absorbing the setting sun and imaginary wind. The sky was the beautiful colour of orange. Zuzu thought he could stay there forever, just relaxing until monsters respawned.</p><p>"Honestly, I'm glad that I was born in this generation," sighed Chargebolt, making themself more comfortable on the grass. It was so soft it was hard to believe it was all artificial.</p><p>"You're so melodramatic," Zuzu couldn't help but laugh at his friend’s words. The blonde was like a walking definition of melodrama.</p><p>"But this is my first full-dive experience!" they protested, feigning offense. </p><p>"Then it's your first time playing a NerveGear game?"</p><p>"Truth is, I rushed to get the hardware just because of SAO." Well, that wasn't that uncommon… "I'm pretty fortunate, considering I was able to get my hands on one of only 100000 copies… Like, I think I cried when I got home, no kidding."</p><p>"Hah, I understand. Honestly, I felt the same when I received the confirmation that I'm accepted as beta-tester."</p><p>"Wh<i>aat?</i> You participated in the beta? That's so cool!"</p><p>"Most people don't like beta testers…"</p><p>"Well I'm not most people! Most people also hate quirkless or scoff at those 'evil' quirks, like, no thanks dude, I would rather mind my own business and be good. I want to become a hero when I'll be older!"</p><p>If he could cry Zuzu would be right now making a goddamn river with his tears. Thankfully  NerveGear didn't account for such things.</p><p>"I— <i>Where have you been all my life?"</i></p><p>Chargebolt laughed, probably thinking he was joking. He wasn't. He really wasn't. </p><p>"So, how far did you get in the beta?" Well, at least this was something he could (hopefully) answer without breaking down.</p><p>"It took two months to get to the eighth floor," he admitted. The blonde looked at him with confusion. "But now, I should be able to do it in half the time." It was true, he really felt like it. Here he was powerful. <s>Here he wasn't Deku.</s></p><p>"You're pretty absorbed in this game," the blonde teased with a playful smirk. <i>Ha, if they only knew.</i></p><p>"To be honest, during the beta, whether I was asleep or awake, SAO was all I could think about," it felt oddly vulnerable to say things like that to someone he met a few hours prior, but the words tumbled out of his mouth. "In this world, a single blade is your ticked to the entire world." The world that so viciously denied him the access in real life. "It might just be a virtual world… but I feel more alive here than I ever did in real life." Sadly all of it was true. He felt anxiety and self-depreciation leave him whenever he put  NerveGear on his head. Here he was strong, he was skilled, <s>he was better than Kacchan,</s> he was sometimes even <i>needed.</i></p><p>It was beautiful. It was the perfect world.</p><p>And Chargebolt deserved to learn more about it instead of listening to him rambling about his emotional situation.</p><p>"Now then, how about we get back to hunting?" he proposed with a smile. It always did wonders to his emotional control, just slay slay slay the monsters.</p><p>"Count me in! … is what I'd like to say…" Huh? "But I'm starving, so I'm gonna log out for a bit." <i>Ah. Understandable.</i></p><p>"Eating food in this world only tricks you into not feeling hungry." Good mechanic for users' mental stability, but it also had its danger of players not realizing how long the game kept them inside. Oh well.</p><p>"I ordered a piping hot pizza for 5:30 ahead of time!" they exclaimed with excitement. Nice.</p><p>"Looks like you had it all planned out. My mother is probably waiting for me with dinner too." Zuzu really didn't want to keep her waiting.</p><p>"Yup! Oh, that's nice! Anyway, I'll log back in after I finish eating."</p><p>"Alright, let me just send you a friend request so I can find you later!" He opened the menu, quickly finding the option and sending the request out.</p><p>"Yeah!" blondie cheered accepting it. "Hey," they rose from the ground. "Later on I'll be meeting with some friends from another game. How about it? Want to be friends with them too?"</p><p>"Eh?"</p><p>"Ooooh of course it's completely up to you! There'll be plenty of chances for socializing." Chargebolt completely misunderstood his silence. There was a blaring siren in his head going <i>NEW FRIENDS NEW FRIENDS NEW FRIENDS</i></p><p><i>"Of course</i> I would like that!" <i>AAAAAAAAAAA</i>AAAAAAAAAA<i>AAAAAAA NEW FRIENDS</i> NEW FRIENDS <i>NEW FRIENDS</i> NEW FRIENDS <i>NE—</i> "Thanks."</p><p>"Hey, that's my line!" The blonde swung an arm over his shoulders and half-hugged him. <s>Was it bad that it was the most skin contact he's got in past few years..? Probably.</s> "I'll make sure to return this favour sometime in this world," they finished with a wink. "Well, thanks a bunch. I'll be looking forward to seeing you on."</p><p>"If you have any more questions, feel free to message me whenever." At this point Zuzu was sure that the smile he had on his face was a permanent fixture by now. He just couldn't stop grinning. He made a new friend! Openly quirkless-accepting! And there will be more probably! He couldn't believe it.</p><p>"Yeah, I'll be counting on it!" Chargebolt sent him a last cheeky grin of the night and opened his menu. "Huh?"</p><p>Admittedly it took Zuzu a hot second to notice what was wrong.</p><p>"The logout button," they whispered at the same time.</p><p>Then they looked at each other because <i>what.</i></p><p>"Open and close again, maybe it's a temporary bug."</p><p>Chargebolt did. Nothing changed.</p><p>There was <i>a</i> button, just not a logout button. Blonde touched it but nothing happened. They did it again, still nothing.</p><p>Zuzu opened his menu and lo and behold, same issue.</p><p>"That's weird…"</p><p>"Well, it's the first day of official service," Chargebolt proposed with enthusiasm. "It's only natural for there to be a bug or two. I'm sure the management's freaking out."</p><p>Zuzu took a look at the clock. 5:30 huh..?</p><p>"The same should go for you. It's 5:25."</p><p>Chargebolt's eyes went incredibly wide, leaving Zuzu to wonder just how much did the  NerveGear's programming translate into their avatars.</p><p>"My teriyaki may pizza!" the blonde cried out, grabbing their head. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"</p><p>"Hurry and call the GMs," this was frankly a little amusing.</p><p>"Oh, right. It's in help, right?"</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>Both of them watched as the call got unanswered. <i>Huh.</i> The blonde slowly looked at him.</p><p>"Isn't there another way to log out?"</p><p>Zuzu stopped for a second trying to recall if it has ever came up in beta testing, player's handbook or online discussions. He came up empty.</p><p>"No, the only way for a player to log out on their own is through the logout button on the main menu…" <i>Something</i> was very very wrong. All games had some kind of the second exit.</p><p>"That's impossible!" <i>Yeah, that's weird.</i> "There has to be another way!" <i>Yeah, there should be.</i> "Return! Log out! Escape!" Chargebolt tried to find some kind of hidden verbal command, making little jumps and jabs in air.</p><p>Nothing happened.</p><p>
  <i>Something was very very wrong.</i>
</p><p>"There wasn't anything written in the manual about emergency logouts… I read that thing page by page." </p><p>"Wha… You're kidding, right?" At this point he wasn't sure if they were surprised by his meticulousness or the info. "Oh, I know! I'll just pull the  NerveGear off my head…" They tried to pull off his head.</p><p>"You can't," Zuzu told them, beginning to feel numb. "We can't move our bodies in the real world. A component in the NerveGear is designed to intercept all brain signals concerning movement, translating it into our gestures here."</p><p>"Seriously?" He felt that the question was more out of general disbelief then one directed at him. "Then the only option is to wait for the bug fix?"</p><p>"Either that, or until someone in the real world takes the NerveGear off for you," he confirmed, a pit of anxiety starting to form in his stomach.</p><p>
  <i>Wrong, wrong, wrong, something is very wrong.</i>
</p><p>"My mother won't be coming home tonight, father is abroad and little bro is in his friend's house… Shit, I'm alone in the house. What about you?"</p><p>"I live with my mom." He refused to elaborate further. So distraction it is. "Do you think it's weird?"</p><p>"Of course I do. It's a bug after all. And you scared me with this microwave talk earlier."</p><p>"It can't be that simple…" <i>Oh, that is wrong.</i> "Inability to let players log off is a major flaw that would heavily impact the game…" <i>The announcement. Why was no one talking about that?</i></p><p>"I see what you're getting at…"</p><p>"This situation could easily be resolved by rebooting the server, which would forcibly disconnect everyone. Why wasn't it done already? There wasn't a single announcement about this. Not a single GM message, no billboards in the air, nothing."</p><p>As if the coincidence was playing jokes on him a huge bell started sounding out loudly. Before he could even comment on that he was teleported somewhere. He instantly recognized the place as the main plaza of the game, the spawning point. It looked like all players were teleported in from whatever they were doing.</p><p>Thank gods Chargebolt was teleported near him, so he wouldn't lose him in the growing crowd. Looking around he recognized the chopping-bargain boy, mostly because of his height. Near him there was a red-haired girl with an annoyed expression.</p><p>Further people-watching was broken by something appearing on the ceiling. A blaring "<b>WARNING</b>" panel was creating a low thumping sound, before spreading all over the plaza until it covered it from all sides as a big sphere. Every piece had either "<b>WARNING</b>" or "<b>System Announcement</b>" on it.</p><p>What was happening?</p><p>
  <i>OH, OH GOD. He was ready to throw up.</i>
</p><p>A red, slimey, blood-looking liquid started dripping from a ceiling creating something akin to a pulsing heart before becoming… a figure, accompanied by electricity discharges.</p><p>"What <i>is</i> that?" whispered Chargebolt clearly distressed and man, Zuzu couldn't blame him at all.</p><p>
  <i>"A GM?"<br/>
"Why is he hiding his face?"<br/>
"Is this an event?"</i>
</p><p>Whispers went through the crowd, some barely a murmur, some screamed at the top of someone's lungs. </p><p>"Attention, players." The figure spoke slowly. "Welcome to <i>my</i> world."</p><p>Zuzu echoed the last words and— <i>Kayaba Akihiko?</i></p><p>"My name is Kayaba Akihiko," the figure—or rather the creator—continued. Oh god. "I am currently the one and only person who can control this world."</p><p>
  <i>"Is that really him?"<br/>
"He must've invested a lot of time into this."</i>
</p><p>"I'm sure that you've all already noticed that the logout button on the main menu has been removed." <i>Don't tell me it was deliberate. Please don't tell me it was deliberate.</i> "However, this is by no means a mistake." <i>WHAT DID I JUST ASKED FOR?</i> "I repeat… It is not a mistake, but a feature of the <i>true</i> Sword Art Online."</p><p>"A feature?" <i>Bullshit.</i> No, this was some bad dream. They were <i>trapped</i> there?</p><p>"You are all unable to log out of SAO, and nobody in the real world can remove the Nerve Gear or interrupt its operation," the figure explained calmly. "Should it be attempted, a powerful burst of microwave radiation emitted from a transmitter in the NerveGear will destroy your brain, thus ending your life." <i><b>BUT THE TESTS.</b> THIS MUST BE BULLSHIT. </i></p><p>
  <i>"What is he saying!?"<br/>
"I'm sure it's an act to get us excited."<br/>
"Come on, enough already."</i>
</p><p>"Wait… so you were right?" Chargebolt asked, swallowing heavily. "He's out of his mind…"</p><p>"The signals emitted by the NerveGear's transmitter are really the same as microwaves… If the safety was faked or disabled, frying a brain wouldn't be impossible…"</p><p>"What about if we cut off the power..? I mean, it's on cable."</p><p>"No, the NerveGear has an internal battery," Oh god this was horrifying, this was seriously horrifying. His anxiety and numbness started spreading further and further stopping him from thinking clearly.</p><p>"But that's ridiculous! What's going on?"</p><p>"Unfortunately," the figure apparently wasn't done. "It's certainly possible that a player's family or friends would ignore this warning and attempt to forcibly remove the NerveGear. As a proof of this, 1427 players have retired from both this world and the real one. Some of you might know their names."</p><p>On the ceiling bloomed an announcement with a sickeningly long list. Zuzu skipped over it, hoping that all the usernames will be unknown to him but then—<i>Rabbitco7</i> They didn't talk much but he was a decent beta-tester and they teamed up a few times. He had him in friends. Without wasting time he opened the menu and called him. No answer. But maybe he was just offline, maybe he didn't log in today. There was a shred of hope, he was safe, he wasn't dead, he was <i>safe—</i></p><p>He wouldn't miss the official release.</p><p>"No way, I can't believe it!" Chargebolt took a hold of their head again. </p><p>"As you can see, news of my warning and the numerous victims are being spread worldwide." A few floating screens started circling the figure, mocking them with barely seeable text and flashing pictures. "Thus, it should be safe to say that the danger of removal attempts has become minimal. I hope you will all be at ease and focus on completing the game." <i>WHAT?</i> He expects them to <i>complete this game?</i> "But I'd like you all to keep this in mind— From this point on, all methods of revival in the game will no longer function. If your HP hits zero, your avatar will perish for eternity, and at that moment the NerveGear will destroy your brain."</p><p>The last words boomed in the silence. There wasn't a single whisper, a single murmur. The silence was so deafening that he could hear his heartbeat going faster and <i>faster—</i></p><p>"There is only one condition you must meet to be free: the completion of this game." No, no he must be kidding. "You are all currently on the first floor, the lowest point in Aincrad. If you conquer a floor's dungeon and defeat the Floor Boss, you may continue up to the next one. Assuming you manage to defeat the final boss on the 100th floor, the game will be considered cleared."</p><p>
  <i>"Cleared?"<br/>
"What's he saying?"<br/>
"You gotta be kidding me!"</i>
</p><p>"Clear all 100 floors?" Chargebolt whispered right beside him, snapping him to reality. "How the hell can we do that!? The beta testers couldn't make it anywhere near that high!" Their screams fell deaf on creator's ears.</p><p>"And lastly, I've prepared a present for all of you in your item storages. Take a look."</p><p>It took Zuzu a second to move, but he still was one of the first ones to do so. His inventory showed… <i>A mirror?</i><br/>
When he clicked on it a regular mirror appeared in his hand, showing his artificially created face, no regular freckles, no baby fat, no embarrassing curls… And suddenly his avatar was covered in light and what stared back from the mirror he was holding was his regular real-world face.</p><p>
  <i>What? No!</i>
</p><p>"You alright, Zuzu?" Chargebolt's voice asked from his right so he turned around… only to see someone <i>different.</i></p><p>"Who— Chargebolt?"</p><p>"Zuzu!?"</p><p>"Then that means…"</p><p>
  <i>"Hey is that dude in the dress?"<br/>
"Holy shit, a crossdresser? HA!"</i>
</p><p>He spared the distraction a single look, the choppy-bargain guy was currently shielding another guy who really was wearing a female costume. <i>Ah, he must have been this angry red-hair.</i> He had blueish hair though and somehow he looked even more tired and disgruntled than when Izuku first looked at him.</p><p>No, no <s>Izuku</s>, Zuzu.</p><p>"Wait, wait, wait, wait—" Chargebolt snapped him back to reality. "How did that happen?" Zuzu spared it a second to think.</p><p>"The scan. The NerveGear covers your entire head with a high-density transmitter, so it can calculate what your face looks like," he started mumbling, miraculously aware of that. "About height and body though…"</p><p>"When we first put on the NerveGear, it mad us touch all over our body for "calibration", remember?" <i>Oh yeah, that made sense.</i></p><p>"I see, so it was collecting data at that time…" <i>This was freaky.</i></p><p>"But… this is…"</p><p>"Madness," he unhelpfully supplied. "This is insanity."</p><p>"Why? Why's all this happening?"</p><p>Zuzu pointed at the looming figure. "This fucker better answer that soon."</p><p>"Right now, you're probably all wondering, <i>'Why?'</i>," Oh, great timing. Please <i>do</i> explain. "Why would I, Kayaba Akihiko, the creator of Sword Art Online and the NerveGear, do such a thing?" <i>Yeah, this is exactly what we're asking.</i> "I have already achieved my goal." <i>What?</i> "I created the world of Sword Art Online solely for my personal enjoyment."</p><p>Zuzu had to fight an almost uncontrollable urge to yell the fucker's name and demand to fist-fight him.</p><p>"And now, the preparations are complete. This concludes the tutorial for the official launch of Swords Art Online.<br/>
<i>"Players, I wish you the best of luck."</i></p><p>With that he dissolved in thin air and a bunch of glitches.</p><p>For a few seconds no one dared to move or to even breath louder. And then someone shattered a mirror crying.</p><p>
  <i>"Don't screw with me!"<br/>
"I want out! Log me out already!"<br/>
"I can't stay here… I have to provide for my family!"<br/>
"Are you trying to kill us!?"<br/>
"Let us go!"<br/>
"Tell us you're kidding!"<br/>
"Someone! Can't anybody save us!?"</i>
</p><p>They couldn't stay here. The chaos was spreading.</p><p>"Come with me, Chargebolt!" he dragged the blondie behind him. He only stopped once they were in a secluded alley. "Listen up, I'll be heading to the next town as soon as possible. You should come too." His brain was in full planning mode. He had to take so many things into consideration, holly hell this was hard. "If everything he said was true, if we want to survive in this world, it's vital that we get stronger," he opened a map, to visualize what he was saying better. "The resources available in a MMORPG are limited in number. The field around the Starting Town will soon be wiped clean of mobs and respawns will be sparse or non-existent. The best course of action would be to quickly move to the next town," he concluded, tone grave. Now time for the offer. "I know the way there and any dangers we might encounter, so even if I'm only level 1, we'll make it there safely."</p><p>"But… you know…" Oh what now!? Their <i>lives</i> were on the line! "I was in a line all night to buy SAO with friends that I met in another game. I'm sure they're over there in the plaza. I can't just leave them…" Oh. Oh well…</p><p>"Did you send out friends requests?"</p><p>"Uh, not in <i>this</i> game…"</p><p>"But did you send it from this <i>account?"</i> Chargebolt blinked at him without understanding. "You can import the contacts from another game. Let me show you quickly. We can go together. If they're high enough on your friend list that you're willing to risk your life for them then you can haul them to another town so they can survive," Zuzu quickly opened his own menu and showed the blonde how to do this.</p><p>His friends answered the call quicker than he thought it was possible.<br/>
Before the chaos in the main plaza calmed down, they were already travelling towards their next goal.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Don't expect much. I'll probably start writing it properly on vacation, considering I spent 10 hours on the first chapter and it isn't even that good. I just wanted to produce a sort of trailer as soon as possible, so I would actually write this shit instead of it bouncing inside my brain like a crazy rabbit on a pogo stick.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Beater</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The first boss battle approaches. Shinsou appears, Aizawa makes a cameo.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>After watching some of Mother's Basement videos I made a small edit in the previous chapter. I might also mention it in the future chapters to avoid confusion and not use my notes as exposition for what I should have written so -- the amount of dead people is now 1427 not 213. Why? Well I have decided that the lunch of SAO was 100'000 people instead of 10'000 and the amount of people locked in the game would be roughly 95'000. Also the release was exclusively Japanese.</p><p>Another thing - interface is broken in original SAO... I will make an attempt to fix it but uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh it might not be mentioned right away. I need to show you what I mean without going into exposition rant.</p><p>Also! Midoriya is acting OOC because he's <i>stressed as fuck.</i></p><p>I tried to do a little buildup as he keeps cursing more and more as the chapter progresses, but you'l be the judge if I managed to.</p><p>Warnings for casual jokes about death and dying, and misgendering.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>November 18, 2020 <b>·</b> 1st Floor <b>·</b> Milky Town</p>
</div><i>Two weeks has passed since the game began. During that time, seven thousand people have died. However, no one has yet been able to clear the first floor.</i><p>
  <i>I was a beta tester, and even I haven't found the boss room.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>And today, we're finally holding a meeting on how to defeat the first floor boss.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>... Which admittedly makes a little sense given that we didn't find it.</i>
</p><p>"I don't know man," Chargebolt drawled out, even though they were walking towards the plaza with a clear intention of going to the meeting. "It smells like some kind of a trap, but... we don't really have a choice now, do we?"</p><p>"We always have a choice, stupid," snorted Melodica, whacking him in the head and dealing one point of damage. It was a usual interaction at this point.</p><p>"Come <i>on</i> Jirō! You can't just hit me whenever I say something you don't agree with!"</p><p>"Nah dude, she can," Tape_Man_2303, or in short Tapeman, informed savagely.</p><p>
  <i>"Seroooo—"</i>
</p><p>Zuzu couldn't help giggling when watching their antics. Friendly banter was a constant while traveling with them, and they even included him from time to time! As if he knew them before this whole thing! He felt so blessed...</p><p>It was easy to forget about a constant threat of death when near them. ... <i>And now he jinxed it and reminded himself. Great.</i></p><p>Thinking about the reason they were playing two weeks without a break was like playing The Game, you lost whenever you thought about it, except it wasn't a symbolic loss but a loss of sanity at this point. They were trapped. With no way out but beating one hundred floors. <i>And they couldn't get past the first one.</i></p><p>"Okay, we're here!" Exclaimed Tapeman smiling weirdly. It was honestly a wonder that his facial expressions got shown in the game so well. Zuzu had a running theory that there was a quirk involved in recreating everyone's avatar in game, because of quite a few mutations he noticed in fellow players, but still— "I said we're here, Zuzu."</p><p>He had to forcefully shake his head to properly connect to the real world—or rather game world—again.</p><p>"Ah, um, yeah, sorry—" The plaza was filled with people, all obviously waiting for something to happen. There were mostly "normal" shaped people, but there were two with obvious mutations, a person with six arms, and one who looked like a half-lizard. He noticed someone lying under a tree too... A hobo? In a game? Where finding a place to sleep was as easy as killing a few boars and going to a motel with amount of rooms that beat physics in non-Euclidean way?</p><p>... Weird</p><p>He scanned the rest of the crowd, trying to find the leader, who posted the announcement about the meeting on the player dashboard and came up with empty hands. The guy was probably somewhere else...</p><p>But someone familiar caught his eye. Their face was... hm... Zuzu could swear he saw them somewhere before... Central Plaza of the Town of Beginnings! That was... that red haired girl! or well... blue haired... man..? Was that... purple..? Violet..? What <i>is</i> violet? Where's the difference..? ...<br/>
Zuzu was a man, alright? He didn't do <i>colours.</i></p><p>"That would be indigo," Chargebolt stage-whispered in his ear, making him realize that he was murmuring. Great. <i>Gah.</i> "And I would say that feminine clothes suggest that's a chick, even if a rather... handsome one." <i>Right.</i></p><p>"Ah, yes, you're right, just—" he gesticulated wildly in the air in indigo-haired girl's direction, hoping that the blonde would understand.</p><p>
  <i>"Yeah."</i>
</p><p>"No idea what you two are talking about but let's get going." Melodica has had enough and pulled them by the collars of their clothes with clear intent to mesh with the crowd and investigate.</p><p>That turned out to be unneeded, as they were called to an amphitheater as soon as their feet hit the cobbled stone in the middle of the square.</p><p>Finding a seat on the stone steps was pretty easy, considering most of the gathered players chose to sit right at the bottom. Fools, didn't they know that the sound carried with the safe physics as in the real world in this game? It was specially designed by Tonomura Mitsuomi, a specialist in game accustics and—</p><p>He got ribbed by Tapeman, who was also shushing him vigorously. Apparently his muttering got attention of quite a few players... <i>G A H.</i></p><p>Loud clapping and even louder "Hai!" made everyone focus on the center of the theatre and away from him thank the gods.</p><p>A blue-haired man was standing in the middle of the scene, obviously the leader, even if someone didn't search up his profile info after the message he sent. (Sue him, Zuzu thought it was very shady so he checked him, even if it meant a little of in-game hacking.)</p><p>"Okay, let's get started, people! Thank you for coming today."</p><p>"The guy should skip amenities and get to the point," whispered Melodica, twisting her slightly extended earlobes. The case with them was interesting, because they counted as a mutation, so they were a part of her avatar, but she couldn't move them or elongate them, because it was a behaviour that the programming didn't allow. Why not completely erase them from her avatar then? Or—</p><p>He got ribbed by Tapeman again, just in time to catch some people complaining about the leader not being serious<i>—gah what did he say—</i>and the blue-haired man becoming... well... serious.</p><p>"Today, our party found the boss room in the underground labyrinth." <i>Oh.</i> So it <i>was</i> found. "We need to defeat the boss, reach the second floor, and tell everyone waiting in the Town of Beginnings that it is possible to beat this game." He clenched his fist and rose it. "Everyone present here shares this duty! Do you all agree?" He turned around, searching every player in the theatre with his gaze. A good emotional play.</p><p>A quiet murmur of agreements rose among the gathered players. Someone snorted on Zuzu's left and he instinctively looked there. The indigo-haired girl from earlier sat there, hood covering most of her head, but not doing much to disguise how discontent she was with something. Maybe how manipulative the leader sounded. </p><p>"All right, then let us begin our planning! First, divide into parties of six." <i>Mmmmmmm... I don't like that.</i></p><p>"We can stay as four-people squad, right?" He whispered cautiously towards his party members. He felt anxious about meeting new people, fearing that someone was going to backstab them. There were already stories about 'Red Players' who killed others just for fun. He didn't want to risk it.</p><p>... Maybe unless it was that mysterious girl. Sue him, he was curious about her.</p><p>But no, she could backstab them too—</p><p>He got ribbed again and quickly mentally thanked whoever thought about shooting down the implementation of pain feature. It was a nightmare to test and would certainly make his days way less enjoyable.</p><p>Back to the present though.</p><p>"So you see, the pretty indigo girl from earlier hasn't even started searching for her party yet, so we're trying to get her to side with us," Chargebolt informed him cheerfully. Oh no. "You have no way to veto it out, you're outvoted." <i>Oh no.</i> "And we also voted that you are going to go talk to her about it." <i><b>Oh no.</b></i> "Now <i>go!"</i> He was hauled up and pushed toward where the girl was siting.</p><p>He took a deep breath and went to talk with her. Oh well, fuck it, the worst thing that can happen is that he would die so no biggie, right? <i>Right?</i></p><p>"Hi! Um, you got left out?" he asked, feeling the awkwardness set in when she didn't answer right away.</p><p>"I wasn't left out." And <i>oh</i> her voice was just— Zuzu was ready to pass out. "I just stayed out of it because everyone seemed to know each other already." <i>Ah, valid.</i> He couldn't imagine what he would do if he was playing solo too.</p><p>It must be lonely.</p><p>And now the hard part.</p><p>"Then, want to join my party? They're an excitable bunch, but we're all pretty good at what we do—"</p><p>"No." The velvet smooth voice of the girl got even lower, as if confirming that it was her final decision.</p><p>"Um, but, the boss, it's dangerous going against it solo, even if there will be other parties present. It's a safer option, and you'll have a much bigger chance at gaining items and exp too, as statistics show that solo player are much less likely to get attack chances but much more likely to die—"</p><p>"Oh, you're a nerd, alright." The girl snorted, and Zuzu felt a need to slap a hand over his mouth. <i>Oh no his chances went from small to zero, great, he fucked it up and now she'll die, and his party will die too, and—</i> "Fine. Just for this fight. And just because you're muttering my ear out and I want to keep myself sane for a little longer." <i>Oh.</i></p><p>"Thank you! I mean, that's great! Um, here—" He opened the menu and quickly sent her a party invitation, as well as friend request. She ignored the later completely. <i>Damn.</i></p><p>Zuzu glanced over her head and— Oh.</p><p>Her name was... <i>Cat'astrophy.</i> A <i>cat pun.</i></p><p>He snorted, feeling something warm bubble in his chest.</p><p>"Your name is," they started together by accident, and slowed down, startled, but still somehow managed to say the same thing. "...adorable..." <i>Wait no.</i></p><p><i>"Youryours</i> is fucking cute dude," she immediately rebuffed, with a small, barely there, smile.</p><p>That's it, he was going to die because of a snarky lady with a voice deep as Mariana Trench.</p><p>"Okay, have you formed your parties?" the leader hollered. Oh right. They were to enter a boss battle soon. They weren't there to flirt. Right.</p><p>Wait, was that flirting? Did it count? Flirting requires intent, but he did intent to compliment her name choice so—</p><p>"Show me the rest of the party? Please?" Her voice snapped him out of the musings. She looked... unsure. Maybe meeting new people was a similar problem for her as for him..?</p><p>"Yeah, let's go." Before he could move someone screamed loudly.</p><p>"Wait up!" The guy had grape-like hair, and was pretty agile, as he jumped down the steps with a twist mid-air. He was also... short. "My name's Grapero. I wanna say something before we take on the boss. Some of you here need to apologize to the seven thousand who have died so far!" <i>What?</i></p><p>"What is this lunatic talking about?" hissed out Cat'astrophy sharply.</p><p>"Grapero-san, are you referring to the beta testers?" said the leader and <i>oh, yeah that was... Fuck.</i></p><p>"Of course I am!" said the midget, clearly outraged by the sheer idea that someone might have not connected the dots. "On the day this stupid game started, the beta guys ditched us beginners, and they all disappeared." Not true! Zuzu always made sure to give advice to people, or show them the best spawning spots and quests, even if he didn't trust them enough to let them join the party for a prolonged time! "They took all the good hunting spots and easy quests for themselves—"</p><p>"Dude, that's... not how it works." Commented Cat'astrophy sounding about as confused as Zuzu felt. It... really didn't work like that. </p><p>"—so only they could get stronger. And then, then they just ignored the rest of us." That— That's not— "I'm sure someone here was in the beta!" the man screamed and Zuzu winced, already getting a picture of what kind of person he was. An—</p><p>"Idiot." <i>Exactly.</i> "He's just making an assumption." Cat'astrophy slouched in her seat and propped her chin with a hand. "Loud bitch barking, I wonder if he's gonna bite too."</p><p>"Those people should get on their knees and apologize, and give up all the items and money they've hoarded. Otherwise, we can't trust them to protect us as party members, and they shouldn't trust us!"</p><p>Zuzu didn't even have time to think about the implications of that outrageous request.</p><p>"I sure as fuck don't trust <i>you!"</i> Cat'astrophy stood up and yelled with an intent to be heard perfectly well. "You're making an assumption after an assumption, you seem to not know baseline game mechanics, and also you're amazingly failing at hiding your greed. You want items? Then go do some quests you lazy fuck!"</p><p>That just in, Zuzu had a crush. Big crush. Huge crush. Humungous crush.</p><p>The purple-haired midget gasped, clearly offended, and opened his mouth to yap again when the six-armed guy stood up and walked straight to him, towering over him completely. He was about three times as high as Grapero, and about a million times as scary. Especially when he opened his mouth to speak and showed a mouth full of miniature sharp teeth.</p><p>"My name is Octo." he said with pathos. "Grapero-san, tell me if I have this right. You're saying that because the beta testers didn't take care of them, many beginners died. That they should take responsibility, apologize, and provide compensation. Correct?"</p><p>"Y-Yeah." Zuzu wouldn't be surprised if in the real world this dude's body was currently pissing itself.</p><p>Octo took out a slim booklet out of his... pocket? It was hard to say from this distance.</p><p>"You got this guidebook, didn't you? It was provided for free at the item store," Octo spoke calmly, but cold as death's breath on the neck of a dying person.</p><p>"Su-sure, I did, but—"</p><p>"It's common knowledge it was compiled from information given by the beta testers." Oh wait, it was? Zuzu hasn't heard about it... But oh well, it existed, someone else used that knowledge to help, so he tried to stifle the bad feeling of not joining in. He didn't know, he couldn't help out.</p><p>Octo turned towards the gathered players, guidebook held like a pointer. "Everyone had equal access to this information. And even still, many players died."</p><p>"Sad truth, but it's natural selection at this point," Cat'astrophy snorted darkly. "Oh well, I suppose I shouldn't laugh about lost lives..."</p><p>"No, you shouldn't," Zuzu confirmed, even though his input wasn't needed. <i>Rabbitco7</i> on the list of dead flashed before his eyes.</p><p>"I thought the topic of discussion here," Octo continued, unaware of his inner turmoil, "Was what we could learn from their deaths, and how that can help us defeat the boss."</p><p>
  <i>That's right. I have to continue fighting. For him. So his death isn't meaningless.</i>
</p><p>He rose his head to look back at the stage just in time to see Grapero running off it, Octo following him close behind until he took a seat, presumably to keep an eye on him.</p><p>"All right." The leader<i>—gah, he probably said his name when he wasn't paying attention—</i>clapped his hands to get everyone's attention. "Then, can we resume? The last edition of that guide book was just issued, and it contains information on the boss." Oh? "According to it, the boss's name is IllFang the Kobold Lord. He is guarded by assistants known as Ruin Kobold Sentinels. He is armed with an axe and a buckler. He has four health bars, and when the last one enters the red, he switches to a curved sword-type weapon called a Talwar. His attack pattern changed, as well."</p><p>A mutter of appreciation rose among the crowd. Those were some detailed information... So one of the betatesters who co-wrote the guide... must have been in the leader's party. <i>Huh.</i></p><p>"This concludes the briefing. Lastly, items will be automatically distributed at random. Combo EXP goes to the party that defeats the monster, and additionally standard exp points go to individual members who deal high enough damage. And whoever receives an item keeps it. Any objections?" A murmur of 'no's rose in the crowd. "Okay, we leave tomorrow at ten in the morning." The leader swung his hand in the air, as if he was cutting something. Or, I guess, dismissing them. "See you there!"</p><p>Zuzu closed his eyes for a moment to compile the information he received. There was quite a lot...</p><p>"So... will you lead me to my great new party, or are you just going to sit there?" He snapped up at Cat'astrophy's voice. Ah jeez, right, he had a new teammate now.</p><p>"Um yeah, yeah, sorry, just... got lost in thoughts..." he quickly stood up and led her to the triad awaiting them. They all had mischievous sparkles in their eyes. Oh god. Oh no.</p><p>He stopped in front of them, thinking how to let them know he won't tolerate much teasing without alerting the girl. He was ready to burn down from embarrassment <i>without</i> them adding fuel to the fire.</p><p>"That's Tapeman, he's our tank, that's Melodica, she's mostly support but also engages in front line fighting when she thinks we won't die on her, and that's Chargebolt, they're our..." How to phrase it <i>nicely.</i> "Well, they're jack of all trades."</p><p>"He means that I'm useless in battle but I can cook so who's winning?" Chargebolt sent Cat'astrophy their trademark smile. "At least that's a good skill for wooing ladies~" Melodica whacked them in the head so hard they bent in half. <i>"Ow!</i> What was <i>that</i> for!"</p><p>"No flirting!" she hissed out, whacking them again. "We don't want to make her uncomfortable!" She then turned to Cat'astrophy. "I'm so sorry for him—"</p><p>"Correction, I'm a guy." Cat'astrophy leveled them with a frightening stare, clearly waiting for their reactions.</p><p>. . .</p><p>The silence was tangible. <i>Oh.</i></p><p><i>"Wait.</i> Really?" Chargebolt was the first to snap out of the stupor. "Then why are you..." They gesticulated to Cat'astrophy's clothes wildly. Zuzu blinked hard twice but they didn't miraculously change from feminine to masculine. "You know."</p><p>"Because I fucking want to. Got a problem with that?" The <i>man</i>—dear god—puffed up defensively. His whole body language screamed that he was ready to Square The Fuck Up.<br/>
There was only one good dialogue option for this instance.</p><p>"No—"   "Absolutely not—"   <i>"Of course no—"</i>  "Sorry for the misunderstanding—"   "—I don't see anything <i>wrong</i> with that—"   "Sorry for assuming—"   "—I was just caught off guard you see—"   "I'm really sorry for those idiots, man—"   "I promise to—"</p><p>"All of you shut up," the crossdresser commanded curtly and they all did. The man sighed deeply and hid his face in the palms. "This is going to be a <i>long</i> day isn't it."</p><p>Zuzu could only smile at him<i><span class="small">(!!!)</span></i>  sheepishly.</p>
<hr/>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>1st Floor <b>·</b> Milky Town <b>·</b> Cow's Tavern</p>
</div>"Wait, you wanted to name yourself <i>what?"</i> Tapeman was being way too loud in Zuzu's meager opinion, but as long as they didn't get kicked out he supposed...<p>"Mindfuck," Cat'astrophy snorted at the 'ooh'ing and gasps that followed his confession. "Unfortunately swears are banned. Which sucks majorly but hey, at least I got a punny name." He took a swig out of his mug of some kind of milky bear, this tavern's special. It was kinda funny that the whole town was milk and cow themed. At least it didn't show in the architecture, that would be a nightmare.</p><p>Zuzu wouldn't mind a cat-themed city though where it would show on the first look. Cats were amazing, just purring little gods that—</p><p>"I agree," Cat'astrophy nodded at him sagely and that was when Zuzu realized he was muttering. <i>Oh no.</i></p><p>"I-I-I-I-<i>CATS ARE CUTE OK?"</i> he stuttered under boy's intense gaze, jeez what was it with him? Cat'astrophy was grinning at him widely, showing off his unnervingly straight teeth. Jeez.</p><p>The guy had <i>major</i> creepy vibes.</p><p>But he was also cute. <i>Wait no.</i></p><p>He could feel a slight blush appear on his face, or more like as big as the programming allowed it to get while his face felt as if it was burning. <i>God fucking dammit.</i></p><p>Tapeman started elbowing him lightly, in a manner not quite similar to his usual 'snap out of it' hits. Was it that obvious that he got a crush?</p><p>"It's alright," Cat'astrophy's soothing velvet-smooth voice enveloped him like a blanket. <i>He was closer than before?</i> Zuzu looked up and found the boy hovering over him slightly, <i>yep, much closer than before.</i> "Seems like we share the love for cats, huh?" He nodded in reply, hoping that his expression didn't betray just how much the closeness affected him. From the knowing smirk on indigo-haired man's face his reputation has became unsalvageable though.</p><p>"Okay so," Melodica shrugged nonchalantly before proceeding, "Not that I see anything wrong with it, because we wouldn't be sitting at the same table if I did, but is there like, a story behind you and feminine clothing, or...?" she gestured vaguely towards Cat'astrophy with her half-empty mug. The boy tensed immediately, his mouth becoming a thin line.</p><p>"Why ask if you don't mind then?" he finally barked out, crossing his arms in front of his chest. The temperature around him seemed to drop a few degrees. <i>Ouch.</i></p><p>"Because I'm <i>curious,</i> no need to get hostile. Will you answer me now?" Melodica didn't let up and it was like watching one of those "Pictures taken just before a disaster" slideshows, except this was real life... <i>or as real as the game could get.</i> Still, they were stuck there. Making allies was important.</p><p>"Hey, guys, let's drop it," he said placatingly, letting a hand hover right over Cat'astrophy tense crossed arms. "He's clearly uncomfortable talking about it. It's not like he's hiding a gun in those clothes, right?" he attempted to joke and was met with silence. "We don't need to know."</p><p>The indigo-haired boy looked at him with relief and gratitude, before slowly uncrossing his arms.</p><p><i>Disaster averted, good job Zuzu!</i> You avoided bloodshed. He should get an achievement for that in his humble opinion, because the male looked ready to square up at all times and they still didn't know how skilled he was.</p><p>Actually... Zuzu quickly opened his inventory, struck by a thought. He had enough healing crystals...</p><p>"Let's spar!" Everyone, Cat'astrophy included, looked at him like at an idiot. <i>Ouch.</i> "Well... We have to be in sync for tomorrow! Who knows what the boss will be, right? Maybe it will be easier to kill him with singular combos, maybe with switches... or perhaps it would... be more... beneficent... to..." he started rambling before awkwardly finishing in the middle of the sentence. He only just then realized he stood up. <i>Oh.</i> "Oh, um, never mind..." He sat down, and  brought down the menu. "Sorry."</p><p>"Ah, no," Cat'astrophy spoke first... smiling at him lightly..? "You're reasonable, we probably should. I don't know you well guys, you don't know me. It's only fair that we fuck around and find out."</p><p>Chargebolt snorted at the reply for reasons unknown so hard, they had to save him from choking on his bear, but after that crisis has been mitigated they left, with smiles on their faces, ready to train.</p><p>Zuzu felt a little proud that he managed that.</p>
<hr/>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>1st Floor <b>·</b> Flowerpatch</p>
</div>Zuzu was ready to combust. <i>Cat'astrophy looked <b>so good</b> while fighting, it was unfair.</i><p>He moved swiftly as knives he was wielding. <i>Knives.</i><br/>
He had shorter and longer ones, one technically a sword, and a few <i>throwing knives.</i></p><p>Zuzu had no idea where he got them from but he was <i>jealous.</i></p><p>Was there, like an extra quest to get them somewhere? Did he buy them? If so, where? He has never seen this weapon type—</p><p>Actually he did. In beta. Once. A player had throwing knives and... used them... similarly...</p><p>Zuzu looked at Cat'astrophy again, trying to match the movement patterns to the avatar from beta. He couldn't be sure but...</p><p>
  <i>Could it be?</i>
</p><p>If so, it would be valuable to have Cat'astrophy in his party for a long time, not just this one boss... If he could only convince him somehow...</p><p>Well, this would be a stuff to think about tomorrow.</p>
<hr/>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>November 19, 2020 <b>·</b> 1st Floor <b>·</b> Forest Field</p>
</div>"Okay, so let's get over that again," Zuzu addressed his party, knowing damn well that Chargebolt will appreciate going over the plan again, no matter how simple it was. "We leftovers are supposed to target the boss's helpers, the Ruin Kobold Sentinels."<p>"Yeah, yeah," Cat'astrophy sighed exasperatedly. Well it was <i>not for him.</i></p><p>"Me and Tapeman are gonna charge at them and knock up their poles, then Cat'astrophy and Chargebolt switch in, while Melodica heals any damage that we take. If our formation gets broken Tapeman shields Cat'astrophy so he can freely attack from the distance, while Chargebolt and I try to deal damage when we can while also making sure Melodica is safe and can focus on healing. Any questions?"</p><p>Everyone replied negative and Zuzu allowed himself to breath a sigh of relief. Somehow the entire thing made him anxious. He had no idea why.</p><p>The leader<i>—and Izuku still haven't asked for his name holy shit—</i>led them through the forest, then through a labyrinth of caves, that finally led to a hall with <i>big</i> metal door. Zuzu's anxiety spiked and refused to come down.</p><p>The leader turned around dramatically and stabbed the ground with his sword.</p><p>"Listen up everyone! I have only one thing to say!" he clenched his hand like a typical anime leader, "Let's win!" A wave of determination passed through the entire room. "Let's go!" The man turned around and pushed the metal door, which opened as if it wasn't heavy. ... Oh well, it wasn't, because it was <i>a game.</i></p><p>The inside of the boss chamber was almost completely dark, aside from light glow near the throne... <i>Ah.</i> Well, the boss was the normal, regular size that Zuzu remembered from beta and hated with his entire heart. Couldn't they made those monsters <i>smaller?</i> This game was really built as if someone <i>wanted</i> them to die!</p><p>... Unfortunate choice of words. <i>Unfortunate choice of words.</i></p><p>The monster opened his eyes and they glowed in the dark. Well, no turning back now.</p><p>The leader stepped inside the room and the rest followed him, looking around nervously. Zuzu's party kept at the end of the parade. It felt as if every column around them hid at least 10 monsters. The air was heavy with fear.</p><p>Suddenly the entire room became bright, a random mesh of colorful splashes. Oh god, oh no.<br/>
Kobold jumped from its throne, landing only a few meters from the people leading the swordsmen. Ah. Joy.</p><p>
  <i>Did Zuzu mention he hated boss fights? Because he hated boss fights.</i>
</p><p>IllFang the Kobold Lord roared, his back arching backwards. His armor wasn't heavy, thank god, but his weapon and shield looked like they could kill someone in two swipes. <i>Joy.</i></p><p>The roar seemed to summon three Ruin Kobold Sentinels. Those <i>were</i> fully armored. Hopefully that meant they were easy to kill if someone aimed at breaks in the armor. Hopefully.</p><p>The enemies charged, and Zuzu heard at least three people murmur <i>'Oh shit.'</i></p><p>"Commence attack!" The leader screamed, pointing his sword at the monstrum.</p><p>Well, that Zuzu could do.</p><p>"Come on guys, take the formation and let's go finish the sentinel on our left," he ordered courtly, before running towards the monster.</p><p>He heard other players scream out and charge at the main boss. That worked out perfectly for him.</p><p>His party detached from the main group, running as if they planned to round up and attack the monster from behind. Horde AI worked perfectly and sent the sentinel closest to them to stop them. In distance he heard the leader scream something about his team but he signed a quick "no help" sign, hoping that the man will understand what he means.<br/>
They would take the bastard by themselves.</p><p>Tapeman swung his shield forward to block sentinel's attack while Zuzu swiped up with his sword to get rid of its weapon. It let go and the pole clattered on the floor.</p><p>The monster was <i>weak.</i> Zuzu smiled, they could win this.</p><p>Still, teamwork was important, and it's better to be safe than sorry.</p><p>"Switch!" They instantly retreated and saw Chargebolt and Cat'astrophy activate their sword spells, piercing the monster and ripping him in two, before it died.</p><p>
  <i>They both were amazing.</i>
</p><p>"Come on, let's go! There's another!" true to his words another sentinel, freshly summoned it seemed, was charging at him. He smiled at Sero and they charged, not looking back.</p><p>Suddenly a sentinel appeared on one of the columns and Zuzu had to slash his body to avoid being smashed by his mace. Mmmm he didn't like that one bit.</p><p>"Switch!" he screamed, expecting to see Chargebolt. Instead the person who appeared behind him was Cat'astrophy. The boy twirled in the air, his clothes fluttering in a way that made Zuzu zero in on them, before snapping out of it and focusing back on the battle. He saw Chargebolt taking out the other sentinel in the corner of his vision. Good. This could still work, but... "You were supposed to go after Tapeman!"</p><p>"Chargebolt fucked up and run in the wrong direction! What was I supposed to <i>do!?"</i> Ah.</p><p>"You're good then, and I'll scold them later!" Zuzu fully intended to do just that. For now they had a battle to focus on.</p><p>"Good to kno— <i>On your left!"</i></p><p>Zuzu turned, sword ready, and activated a sword skill piercing right through the center of sentinel's chest. The monster got him though, a long swipe on his arm that made his stomach pierce with unease as his health bar dropped a few points.</p><p>It jumped right up. Because they had Melodica. Right. He almost forgot. The stress has really been getting to him.</p><p>He turned back to Cat'astrophy to see him standing with mouth open.</p><p>"You can... take them out in one try alone?" Before Zuzu could answer, or even fully decipher what was Cat'astrophy getting at, two things happened.  One, he noticed the leader moving in towards the boss, while he previously stayed away to command. Two, the boss roared, his health on the last bar in the red area. Uh-oh, time for an attack pattern change.</p><p>"Stay back!" he hissed out to his party. They had to watch the situation if they wanted to be of any help.</p><p>Something was wrong, something...</p><p>"Weren't we supposed to circle the boss and kill him together?" Chargebolt wondered loudly and then it clicked. The leader didn't have a beta tester in his party. <i>He</i> was a beta tester. And he, for some reason, wanted the main drop of the fight.</p><p>"No!" Zuzu charged after the idiot, but didn't manage to reach him before the monster took out his weapon.</p><p>Which <i>definitely</i> wasn't a Talwar. It was a No-Dachi. A weapon not previously used for this boss in the beta test—</p><p>Fuck.</p><p><i>"FUCK!</i> Jump back as fast as you can!" he screamed, doing just that.</p><p>The leader didn't listen.</p><p>The boss jumped up, disappearing from their peripheral, and then zipped across the room a few times before coming down on the leader with a heavy hit.</p><p>
  <i>
    <b>Fuck.</b>
  </i>
</p><p>"Diabel!" <i>Oh,</i> so that was the name of this idiot. Great.</p><p>"Melodica! Heal Diabel!" he screamed, running towards the monster.</p><p>"I don't have him in my—" <i>Fuck, if she didn't have his ID and wasn't in immediate vicinity she couldn't perform crystal healing and—</i></p><p>"I added him to our party contact list after the meeting!" shouted Cat'astrophy, rushing right after Zuzu. <i>Oh thank god for him. Unironically.</i> "You have a plan broccoli?"</p><p>Zuzu's brain screeched to a halt, before restarting. "No, not really. But we can kill him if we go for his back and front at the same time."</p><p>"So no switching."</p><p>"No switching."</p><p>"Pity, I wanted to stare at your ass a little longer." Zuzu will admit, he snorted.</p><p>"Stop flirting and <i>fight!"</i></p><p>Cat'astrophy split from him with a terrifying grin on his face, and Zuzu observed how he got behind the monster, which was currently roaring at other players. Why weren't they attacking? His attack patterns weren't the easiest but still managable and—</p><p>Oh, no one was leading them.</p><p>"Team C! Take defense!" he shouted with confidence he didn't quite have. Sure, his party listened to him, because they trusted him, but what about the rest of those people? They had no reason to.</p><p>Miraculously they did. <i>Okay, woah.</i></p><p>"Team A! Attack from the front! Team B! Try to get his side!" Was it selfish to leave the back to Cat'astrophy? Maybe, but at this point he cared about efficiently, not equality. "Team D! Switch with Team C and deliver a hit, then take defense!"</p><p>Okay, okay, this was looking good. This was looking great actually.</p><p>"Team B! Move to the back and prepare to avert an attack should it come! Team A! Do the same for front!" Someone from team C flew up when the monster hit him with the weapon. Ah fuck. </p><p>But the perfect setting happened, and he caught eye contact with the indigo-head. Now or never. "Cat'astrophy! Pounce!" He charged forward, making the boss focus on him completely.</p><p>The monster didn't look back. Cat'astrophy's made his move and the creature wailed, failling. It didn't take him long to get back, but at that point Zuzu slashed him too with his slower, but strongest, sword skill. The boss tried to dodge and attack, but the boys continued attacking from both sides, until Cat'astrophy backed up a little after a direct attack, and threw two knives in its direction. They sunk into the monster's body taking away his last HP points.</p><p>It was defeated.</p><p>It heaved, once, twice, before bursting in light and disappearing in a myriad of colorful pixelized shards.</p><p>Zuzu sank to his knees, breathing heavily. They did it. There were screams around, happy that they managed to bring down the boss. A ‘Congratulation!!’ screen appeared mid-air. <i>They did i—</i></p><p>"Take the fucking option or so help me! You can't just kill yourself to avoid consequences!" Melodica's voice rung out and Zuzu turned his head so sharply he wondered how it stayed in place. Was Tapeman or Chargebolt injuried? Why didn't his HUD show it? Was—</p><p>Oh, the leader, Diabel. Apparently he was continuing being an idiot.</p><p>Melodica was healing him with a crystal, which was a slow task, that often could only slow the continuous damage, instead of healing someone. And it looked like that was a case there. No-Dachi had poison buff, probably. That's what Zuzu remembered about it. So it was still killing Diabel.</p><p>Why the fuck was he refusing the healing potion? Was he really that ashamed of his greed?</p><p>Before Zuzu could formulate a conclusion Cat'astrophy shoved himself towards the dying man, took the potion from Melodica's hands, and<i>—holy fuck—shoved the bottle into Diabel's mouth, shattering it, making him swallow.</i></p><p>Zuzu hoped the game mechanics saved the player from swallowing glass. Or at least from the feeling of swallowing glass.<br/>
From the way Diabel's health bar went from red to green that was the case.<br/>
But holy, Cat'astrophy was <i>so metal—</i></p><p>The room powered down. A small notice appeared right in front of Cat'astrophy's face, making him stop shoving his hand into Diabel's mouth and focus on it. Zuzu walked closer, peering behind his shoulder.</p><p>'You got the last attacking bonus!' the notice said, then, 'BONUS ITEM Coat of Midnight'. <i>Oh.</i> That's why Diabel was so greedy. This item was <i>rare.</i></p><p>"Good work!" he said excitedly, patting Cat'astrophy on the back.</p><p>"That was splendid swordsmanship," they both turned to see... Octo, was it, standing near them. "Congratulations."</p><p>"Same to you. You were like, the only person who didn't suck in Team C, I'm not kidding," Cat'astrophy snorted, placing a hand on his neck. Oh? Was he embarrassed?</p><p>"No, this victory belongs to you," Octo said, smiling wildly with his two rows of sharp teeth. Zuzu both wanted to run away, and run closer to see them better.</p><p>He didn't get a chance to do either as the crowd started cheering.</p><p>"WHY!" Graper screamed, making everyone quiet down and look at him. "Why did you almost let Diabel die? Why didn't you warn us earlier!? You clearly knew what patterns will this monster use correctly!" The man fell to his knees. "If you'd told us about that up front, no one would have been at risk! We almost lost a life today!"</p><p>People started whispering, agitated by him.</p><p>"He must be a beta tester!" someone braver said. Another wave of whispers.</p><p>Zuzu saw red.</p><p>"I only realized when he took out a different weapon then he should have!" he screamed back. "And the original tactic <i>would have worked</i> if <i>Diabel</i> didn't <i>try to rush forward like an idiot!"</i> He felt every single never of his snapping under the pressure. </p><p>"I—"</p><p>"He basically <i>asked for that."</i></p><p>"So you <i>admit</i> that you knew beforehand and didn't tell us! Beta tester! <i>Traitor!"</i></p><p>Before Zuzu could refute it in any way he heard a straight up demonic laugh. He looked to his left to see Cat'astrophy, dressed in his newest coat. It gave him an... off vibe.</p><p>"You're searching for a beta tester?" he asked, snapping his neck back and forth between left and right. <i>An intimidation tactic,</i> Zuzu realized. "Well <i>one stands in front of you!"</i> he walked out a step from his previous position.</p><p>Oh. So Zuzu <i>was</i> right.</p><p>"You're wrong to compare a beta-tester to a beta-tester though. Most of them were <i>newbies,"</i> Cat'astrophy hissed out the last word maniacally. "The skill you saw in him? That's something you <i>work on for years.</i> His status as beta-tester probably has barely anything to do with it, and his general experience with games more! And the same is for me. You <i>idiots.</i> You absolute <i>imbeciles.</i> You die like sheep because you follow fake leaders and listen to gossip! If you want to survive this game you better actually try to get stronger at lower level opponents! Farm exp! Improve skills! Learn attack patterns from guides! <i>Don't be dead weight!"</i></p><p>"You... You must have cheated!" Grapero snapped out of his ashamed awe first. "Cheater! You cheated! A beta tester and a cheater..."</p><p>"A beater!"</p><p>"I guess it does have a nice ring to it. Beater," Cat'astrophy said, flashing his unnervingly straight teeth at everyone. He was so cocky... And Zuzu was lost.</p><p>What side he was supposed to be siding with? Who was he supposed to support?</p><p>"That's right... I'm a Beater... Since now don't confuse me with other players." He turned around and started walking out of the boss room towards the new floor.</p><p>Tapeman magically appeared on Zuzu's right and nudged him a little in the ribs. "Go."</p><p>Before he could even quite comprehend it he was running after Cat'astrophy.</p><p>"Wait." The boy stopped, but didn't turn around. "There's a big limit to what you can do as a solo player."</p><p>"I don't care."</p><p>"You <i>do."</i></p><p>"I don't." As if to confirm this, Cat'astrophy opened the Party menu and clicked on Dissolve party button. The confirmation screen came up and his fingers hovered over yes.</p><p>He didn't click it.<br/>
Instead Zuzu came up to him, and slowly lead his hand towards the X, then out of Party menu to Friend menu, and clicked accept on the invitation he sent earlier. The boy tensed under his hand so he let him go, stepping away.</p><p>"Stay safe, Cat'astrophy," he said simply. The man didn't look behind as he resumed walking and disappeared in the corridor.</p><p>Somehow Zuzu doubted he would be gone for long.</p>
<hr/>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>December 24, 2020 <b>·</b> 4st Floor <b>·</b> Bog Village</p>
</div>"How are you sure he won't just delete you from his friends?" Chargebolt whispered as Zuzu meticulously packed a little present for the lone wolf.<p>"I'm not. But he hasn't yet." He opened the package menu and hit sent. Hopefully Cat'astrophy would appreciate the feminine boots he picked for him to match his distinctive by now cape.</p><p>Beater... It <i>did</i> have a nice ring to it.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope it wasn't that bad... Took me a long time though.<br/>I'm sincerely sorry, but once every three months <i>might</i> be how often I'll be publishing chapters for that. I hit a major writer block recently and have to force myself to write so the effects are how they are.</p><p>I hope you'll stick with me on this weird adventure either way &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
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